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Byron Bay Holiday Guide Archives :. Spanking The Bank With Kismet And Chai At The Futurescafe

by Richard Neville

The year is 2020, the place is the Futurescafe, an off-the-grid, vine-entwined gazebo which thrusts seawards from its foundation on the former carpark of the Byron Bay lighthouse. Sunday brunch is in full swing. Erin taps the screen of her webwatch and flicks back luminous lime-green hair, noting the prevailing scent of pancakes and wildfowers. "Cool site, Erin", murmurs her companion, Amrit Singh. The table-side screen lights up with NASA's footage from RedApollo 10, as it nears the surface of Mars, projected from Erin's watch . Two of the crew jerkily wave at the camera, as Dick, the white haired host, sets down a tray of chai: "There was a time we hated NASA ", he says to the couple, as the camera zooms on two of the crew holding hands, "Could those two really be in love?"

"Kismet and Cog?" Erin's laughter is faintly brittle. "Maybe Dick, but there's nothing they can do about it".

"I wouldn't count on it", says her Indian friend, "My dad's at MIT and he wrote their programs. Kismet is ready for anything." The scene switches from robots to aerial pans of the Red Planet, dotted with the glassy domes of the First Settlement.

Amrit pulls a Mambo-Organic cheroot from his turban, lights up and offers it to the hovering host.

"Not while I'm working, thanks". Dick's more interested in the soaring value of the Indian rupee. "Half of Bombay seems to be Byron."

"It's not only a bargain, Dick. This town is spiritual, full of magic… and the curries are great."

Dick laughs. "That's what we used to say about India"

"So I heard", says Amrit Singh, "we're having our revenge on the hordes from Lonely Planet".

"More like the Ruined Planet", snaps Erin, in her chilly, post ironic global twang. Like many travellers, she exudes ambivalence about tourist promoters who don't know when to stop. "They've probably got a prick with a Palmtop on Apollo". She taps her watch. The screen switches to Planet.com, and its streaming 3D footage of the Mars backpacker dome.

Amrit sighs and glances at the sea: "Forget high-tech. I'd rather swim with Dolphins…." It wasn't so easy these days, since the melting of the ice caps had raised the Pacific.

"Once there was a fancy restaurant over there", Dick says, pointing vaguely north, "near where the beach used to be". According to the Byron Guide, if you snorkelled over the ruins of Rae's, a nudge from a dolphin was possible. The oceans had stabilised since the ban on logging and the mandatory use of renewable energy. Erin asks Dick if he could sit down awhile.

"It was you I came here to see", she says "I'm stuck on my Phd". Amrit and Dick swap places, as a flock of Japanese honeymooners soar by on paragliders, waving handcams. Amrit takes the tray and zig-zags through the tables, clearing up crockery with the easy grace of a seasoned job sharer.

Dick sits down, "What's the topic?"

"It's sounds a bit corny - The Webolution of Consciousness". Erin expounded her thesis: there'd been a seismic shift in the psyche of Australia, and that it had started years ago, early in the millennium, soon after the era of America's great social divide. "You people have learnt to flourish within your diversity, she said, "to navigate the future with flair. How come?"

Dick sprinkles his chai with ZIP-ZAP, a state-of-the-art brain booster. An old mate belts down the slope with a board on his head and yells a greeting, then leaps into the ocean.

"Who's that hunk?" asks Erin.

"A sixties surfing champ on an accelerated anti-aging program", Dick says, "elephant genes and nutra-cuticals".

Erin wants to know when the Big Change had started. "Maybe the Olympics?"

"Even before that." The New Years Eve fireworks in '99 had climaxed with the crowning of the Sydney Harbour Bridge in a fiery halo , the word Eternity. "It marked the end ockerdom".

Erin looks bewildered.

"You know, the yob mentality that drove Joern Utzon from our shores - never to return!" Soon after came the march of reconciliation across the same bridge, where history merged into the future, and we switched from self destruction to self discovery.

"What about the Olympics?"

"Lots of social commentators, myself included, thought the Sydney Olympics was going to be a disaster, until that first crack of the whip on opening night". The Victa's, the Hills Hoists, the aerial tropical fish. "At one point I turned to a friend and said: 'Wow! It's one of the few times I'm feeling proud to be an Australian.' She said, 'same here". Dick recalled that on the trains, trams and buses, the citizens smiled, joked and "consorted with that dreaded beast, The Stranger, like they were high on ecstasy. As many were". He glanced at the sea, where the surf champ in a silver wetsuit shot by on a mighty breaker, two great grand-daughters balancing on his shoulders. Dick turns to Erin, who was proofing his words as they turned into text on her webwatch. "Overnight, Sydney became a city of merry-making rather than money grubbing".

"Did it convert you to the Olympic spirit?"

"More to the spirit of building a vision for the 21st Century." People had droned on about social capital for years, he said - the intangible asset of memory, loyalty and human yearning - but it was dismissed as new age plot. "All of a sudden we had half a million volunteers bringing a new dimension to the Games, which up till then was a bit ike a re-run of the Goebbels-Hitler propaganda machine, the Swatch logo replacing the swastika".

"Those Smart Drugs can sure make you talk", Erin says, as she clips on her solar powered roller blades. "Before I speak, I'm programmed to think".

Dick's on a roll: "And then who would have predicted that a regional gripe, the strangling of the South Sydney leagues club, would have driven 80,000 protestors the streets, where a former captain told the crowd, " 'they've closed down our banks, our police stations and now they want to take away our game'". Dick even remembered the following day's headline, OUTCASTS MARCH AGAINST MONEY MEN.

Erin glances at the surf champ, still performing acrobatics, now with a pod of dolphins in his wake. She tries to concentrate on Dick's bizarre argument, that the footy demo was like the eruptions against the global "money men" on the streets of Seattle, Washington, Melbourne, which had so surprised the media at the time. He quotes the anti IMF placards: NO ECONOMY WITHOUT ECOLOGY; ROBIN HOOD WAS RIGHT; STOP THE WAR ON THE WORLD'S POOR; SPANK THE BANK, END RED MEAT, and, "the one which said it all", I MOCK YOUR VALUE SYSTEM. "Such sentiments had been floating around the Rainbow Region for years", Dick went on, "but in the new millennium they started bearing fruit".

Erin isn't satisfied. She wants a specific source of Australia's future dreaming. "A charismatic politician, maybe?"

"Are you kidding?" says Dick, as laughter ripples among the eavesdroppers. Not that such a thing is impossible. He remembers John F Kennedy's 1961 vision to put a "man on the moon" by the end of end of the decade, even though, at that time, America did not possess the technical capacity to bring it about. The act of announcing a vision that caught the imagination had led to its fulfilment, one which "changed the world", as Dick puts it. Computers, satellites, the web, as well as the first whole-earth pic - the catalyst for environmentalism and the credo of sustainability. "John Kennedy gave us the moon", he thunders, "and John Howard gave us the Business Activity Statement".

Erin is about to ask who John Howard was, but senses that it doesn't matter.

The famous Oz 2020 vision had trickled up from the grass roots, Dick is saying as he kisses her cool cheek, uniting the arts, entrepreneurs, eco-activists…. "Basically it was a shift away from feeling ashamed about our past to being creative about the future. That's it. No magic".

Amrit wanders back to the table and asks Erin to join him for a snorkel. "You're system's waterproof, I take it?"

"Sure. Can't wait". Erin gathers up her Anti-Brand eco-pack and glances down at the champ, who's playing volleyball on the rocks with the tourist kids. Several of them - all blue-eyed, fair haired - had been cloned in Iceland, and she marvels that their "parents" can tell them apart. Erin skates down the grass, her metallic hair shimmering.

Dick goes back to clearing the tables, wondering if tomorrow belongs to the cyborgs. On top of the lighthouse someone is playing a flute.

Richard Neville

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